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Cash for Toys

TV Advert: New from Krank Co, the Cosmo Flyer! 

Kid in Advert: Awesome! 

TV Advert: With the Cosmo Flyer, the sky's the limit. It's up, up and away for fim-foobly fun.


Wayne Industries

Bruce Wayne: I can't think of a toy more fun for a child or one more dangerous. Just ask Timmy Snyder. Or Reece Jones, who went on a wild ride over three counties before authorities could save him. The Cosmo Flyer is yet another in a long line of unsafe products from Krank Co. The same people who brought us the Krank-Bots. And the Zoom-Pets. Flame-retardant they weren't. Today, I'm happy to report that, thanks to the efforts of Wayne Industries' Project Safe-T-Net, the doors of Gotham-based Krank Co. have been permanently shut.

Toymaker: (Over Radio) You thought my toys were dangerous before, Wayne? 

Bruce Wayne: Krank? 

Toymaker: (Over Radio)  Well, get a load of the new model. It's doo-diddly deadly 


Toymaker: Can Bruce come out and play? No? Oh, he's buried under a building? Aw.

Batman: You like playing with toys, Krank? Try mine.

Toymaker: Broke your toy, boo-hoo. Grr

Batman: Refills sold separately.



Toymaker: Whoa, dipsy doodles! 


Batmobile Computer: Autopilot on.


Toymaker: I own your weak Bat-butt.


Wayne Manor

Jim Gordon: When Krank finds out you survived, Mr. Wayne, he's sure to try again. That's why I'm assigning you round-the-clock police protection.

Bruce Wayne: I really don't think that's necessary, Commissioner.

Jim Gordon: It's not open for debate, Mr Wayne. I won't allow Gotham's favorite son to be harmed on my watch.

Bruce Wayne: Thank you, Commissioner Gordon.

Jim Gordon: Let me introduce you to your shadow. 

Cash Tankenson: Cash Tankenson. The last line of defense you'll ever need.


Cash Tankenson: Hey, Freddy, how 'bout some more of those nachos? Extra jalapeños this time.

Alfred Pennyworth: Straight away, "Detective Shades."

Cash Tankenson: Yo, Wayne, you're supposed to be some kind of billionaire bachelor. So where's the par-tay? 

Bruce Wayne: The night is still young, detective.

Cash Tankenson: Call me Cash. 'Cause I'm not just your bodyguard, Wayne. I'm your wingman. Yeah!

Bruce Wayne: Cover for me, Alfred. Time for The Batman to collar Krank so we can send our houseguest home.

Cash Tankenson: Hey, Freddy, ETA on the nachos? 

Alfred Pennyworth: Do hurry, sir.

Cash Tankenson: ... Let me guess. You're not expecting visitors.


The Batcave

Batman: Security breach.


Wayne Manor

Cash Tankenson: Huh? Special delivery. No doubt, from Cosmo Krank. Looks like "the Cos" don't know Cash spent a year on bomb squad. No sign of a proximity fuse. Amateur hour.

Bruce Wayne: Someone at the door, Alfred? 

Cash Tankenson: Stay back, Wayne. It's the Cash Tankenson show now. "Ding dong, you're doo-diddly done!" I don't get it.

Alfred Pennyworth: Careful, sir.

Cash Tankenson: Freddy's right. Leave the rough stuff to the professional. Who ordered the knuckle sandwich? Extra knuckles! Huh? Have another serving... 

Bruce Wayne: Help! Ugh! Get it off! 

Cash Tankenson: It's payday.

Bruce Wayne: You got him.Whew. Thanks, Cash. I owe you one.

Cash Tankenson: Hey, Cash is as Cash does, man.


Bruce Wayne: Dark night, isn't it? 

Alfred Pennyworth: I take your meaning, sir ... Uh, Master Bruce has an early meeting tomorrow. Allow me to show you to the guest room.

Cash Tankenson: That's not gonna work, Freddy. Cash has to keep Wayne in his sights at all times. We're roomies, pal.

Bruce Wayne: Awesome.

Cash Tankenson: And we just trashed a robot, compadre. How can you be tired? Cash is pumped and ready to party.


Cash Tankenson: (Talking In sleep) Get down! Ah, just doing my job, Mr. President.


Batman: Sorry I'm late, commissioner. 

Jim Gordon: Krank made a second attempt on Bruce Wayne's life tonight. I have a man guarding him, but I could really use your help.

Batman: Let me keep an eye on Wayne instead. I can catch Krank in the act.

Jim Gordon: No, your talents are best used in the field. We need to stop Krank ...

Batman: Before he puts Wayne in danger again.


The Batcave

Batman: I'm on my way to Krank's factory, Alfred. I'm hoping to find something the police missed. Just buy me more time if Cash asks after me.

Alfred Pennyworth: No worries there, sir. Your wingman is sleeping like a baby.


Wayne Manor

Cash Tankenson: Hey, Wayne, which way to the john? ... All right.


Cash Tankenson: Okay, here we go. Let's see.

Alfred Pennyworth: Um occupied? 

Cash Tankenson: Oh. Uh, sorry, Freddy.


Krank Co. Factory

Toymaker: (On Video) Huh? Surprise, Batman! 


Wayne Manor

Cash Tankenson: You must think Cash is pretty dumb. Thought you could pull the wool over Cash's eyes, huh? That's a negative. I know where you were. You were out ... partying.

Bruce Wayne: You got me, Cash. I don't know what to say, I ...

Cash Tankenson: Without your wingman. You never, never leave your wingman.

Bruce Wayne: You were sound asleep. I didn't want to disturb you.

Cash Tankenson: I don't let many people in, Wayne. But Cash has got feelings too.

Bruce Wayne:  Look, Cash ... 

Cash Tankenson: It's Detective Tankenson. Only my friends call me Cash. From now on, Mr. Wayne, we do this by the book.


Bruce Wayne: Look, detective, I am really sorry I ran out on you, but I'm just not used to ...

Cash Tankenson: Not used to having a babysitter? Well, get used to it now.

Bruce Wayne: I'd rather have a wingman, Detective Tankenson.

Cash Tankenson: My friends call me Cash.

Bruce Wayne: So, Cash, think we could, uh, lose these now? 


Cash Tankenson: You know, the commish is kind of jittery about you being out in the open for this park dedication ceremony.

Bruce Wayne: I refuse to let a madman dictate how I live my life.

Cash Tankenson: And I'm hoping Krank tries something so I can see the look on his face when I take him down hard! ... Back seat, Freddy. Cash Tankenson always drives.


Cash Tankenson: Are you certain this is a good idea, sir? 

Bruce Wayne: It's the only way, Alfred. If I don't let Krank get to Bruce, The Batman doesn't get to Krank.


Park Dedication Ceremony

Cash Tankenson: It's Krank! Look out! ... How 'bout we try on a pair of Cash Tankenson size-13's? 

Kid: ... My toy. *Crying*

Cash Tankenson: Oh. Uh, sorry, kid. Little help. Wayne? Wayne! Hey, Bruce Wayne! Wanna go for a spin? 

Bruce Wayne: Come and get me, Krank.

Cash Tankenson: Wayne! Help! 

Bruce Wayne: Help! Help! 

Toymaker: *Laughing* 

Cash Tankenson: Wayne! Drop Wayne or Cash drops you! 

Toymaker: Whoo-hoo-hee-hee! 


Bruce Wayne: Sorry, Cash ... have to rely on another wingman.


Cash Tankenson: Police! I'm commandeering this vehicle.


Cash Tankenson: No one shakes Cash Tankenson.


Krankytown

Toymaker: Welcome to Krankytown, Wayne. The playland children will never get to enjoy, all because of you! Maybe my toys weren't the safest, but they were fim-foobly fun.  And now you get to join my collection. A little dip in my river of molten plastic and voilà , my very own limited edition Bruce Wayne non-action figure. What? Where's Wayne? 

Batman: Safely on his way home.

Toymaker: Oof! 

Batman: Time to put your toys away.

Cash Tankenson: Freeze, toy geek! ... The Batman? Uh, where's Wayne? 

Toymaker: Safely on his way home, apparently. But not for long. With both of you out of the way for good, who will protect Wayne, hm? Zoom-Pets now come with extreme mangling action.

Cash Tankenson: Here, kitty-kitty. Catnip time.


Cash Tankenson: Gotcha! 

Toymaker: Who's got who? 

Cash Tankenson: Oh, no.Whoa! 

Toymaker: New from Krank Co, Battle-Damaged Detective. Oh, Batman. Dipsy doodles? 

Cash Tankenson: Come on now, you can't turn Cash into a candle. I-I got my whole life ahead of me.Who's gon...? Who's gonna care for my grandma?! Huh? Wha? 

Toymaker: I'm done playing nice, Batman. I ... Where? Where? Where's my remote? 

Batman: Here's why your toys need warning labels.

Cash Tankenson: Some of this? Let's go. Wha....? 

Toymaker: No. What? What are you doing? No, Zoom-Pets, you can't do this! I created you! 

Cash Tankenson: Uh, about the whole Cash-begging-for-his-life thing, uh, that never happened, right?


Jim Gordon: Detective, your assignment was to protect Bruce Wayne. How do you explain Krank snatching him from right under your nose? And where is Wayne? Do you even know? 

Cash Tankenson: Well, he's, uh, safely on his way home? 

Batman: Actually, the detective had my back, commissioner.

Cash Tankenson: Cash is as Cash does, sir. 

Batman: I want your report on my desk first thing in the morning.

Cash Tankenson: Hey, Wayne's a spoiled rich kid, but you, Bats, you're all right. You need a wingman? Hey! That's cool. Cash prefers working alone.

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